Risk is the card I have to play, and Gods know after a few years of learning conservation and repair and caution, and the valuing of material resources it is terrifying to contemplate even risking a fraction of what has been so hard to gather in. When the eyes are closed, the image and vertigo sensation of myself literally stepping off a cliff sets in.
Question: Is this something I bring on myself, or will this happen whether I go willingly or not? I know what the books tell me but I doubt everything lately. Finding it difficult to believe in anything I have not experienced, and attempts at examining memories of previous similar experiences comes up obscured or nothing at all.
Some confusion over the relationship of risk to discipline (and ambition/aspiration) and what that means in the world of action. Contrary to initial conceptual impressions rising out of both words, one requires the other. To those two add a third point, that of discrimination (which would be the base of the triangle).
12/21/08 Sunrise, 7:50am
Sol 0*Cap 9′
Pluto 0*Cap 52′
*(Mars 0*Sag 25′ into the 12th)
Jupiter 26*Cap 34′
Venus 15*Aq 43′
Chiron 17*Aq 44′
Neptune 22*Aq 8′
Uranus 18*Pi 59′
Saturn 21*Vir 40′
Luna 26*Lib 0′ (wn 27%v, near zenith)
Mars 25*Sag 46′