magic studio

the knight, death & the devil

2009-11-16, 12:00 pm
Dies Luna
Luna NEW

On the Pluto-Saturn configuration- um, yeah…heavy ain’t it? Have to admit, though, that it’s kinda nice to think of it as Pluto showing Saturn that perhaps he’s not always the bad motherfucker, after all. Comforting to see your boogie man get boogied a little, himself.

And it is for that reason that I will be embracing the virtues of Saturn that I have come to know better and better, namely disciplined detached work in the service of ambition.

Recent readings on craft and the functions of work point out that gaining mastery in any skill is about active problem-seeking as much as problem-solving. Looking for weaknesses in approach and execution, finding more difficult tasks that are beyond the current skill level to attempt to execute, knowing that the result will likely be inadequacy or failure. It requires a willingness to be incompetent (at least in regards to the ever receding horizon of the-next-level) for a long, long time and have this plainly pointed out over and over. Purposefully being near people who are better than you at what you do as often as possible.

I get to embody some of my least favorite things things!

motivation? Discomfort just as much as desire- mainly to push onwards and climb it, already. There will no doubt be some significant rewards and incredible feelings of actual advancement along the way, some very good things. But problems come and how I decide to react to them is the other side of the coin (both sides together constituting the value, worth of said coin). Materials and their tendencies, and my internal menagerie assert themselves every time I take action. There’s pressure to keep acting – I only have so much time.

And to go there willingly requires another level of putting self-image aside, assuming nothing, being a beginner over and over and messing up a lot. Because the minutiae of these trials are so very specific and really no one who isn’t directly involved cares -nor should they- this has to be done in private. It can’t matter whether anyone is watching the ridiculousness, suffering, and humiliations or not. Expectations must change.

It’s painful to my Leo Moon and Aquarius Sun, both of which want attention, acknowledgement of achievement, and social approval. Nothing wrong with that. That’s just where it’s most tender. Those are good motivators, but the wrong ones to place emphasis on. They are definitely the wrong carrots.

I’m certainly not going out of my way to find problems or create more for myself- been there, done that and hopefully can tell the difference now. The path, once I start seeing the difficulties that I’ve not been ready to see until now, will provide plenty.

I’m willing to take on this particular illusion filter because it’s the right next step. Oh Michael Lutin you are so funny. Dis-illusion, indeed!
Sign me up. May all the problems of this path stand right up and say HERE I AM! as plainly as the inspirations pulling me along it do.